Breath is my raft

Year: 2024 Medium: 2D Animation + Written Story

© 2023 Jasmine Bruce. All rights reserved.

Breath is My Raft

by

Jasmine Bruce

I am drowning, tumbling, reaching, thrashing and gasping for air. Slammed again and again, wave after wave of blistering moisture. The kind of cold that burns the corners of my eyes from hands wiping a way to get a clear look at where I am.

In the waters I have waded for so long that darkness fills my vision. I cannot see, I cannot hear. I reach for a raft, there is none. There is no one to help. 

I am nameless, faceless I’ve become all that is around me. I have become the storm, ruthless, endless, unforgiving. I rage and destroy and take and terrorize. I resist suffering so much that I become suffering itself.

Prepared to drown a warm wave below my feet pushes me up, ”breathe” it whispers

And rising above the surface, I take one last breath in…

and on the exhale I find my head lifting out of a puddle in calm desert patterned hill after hill

Breath is my raft

– 

The puddle vanishes and I am met with a soft warm breeze, the ground firm beneath my knees. For a moment the air smells sweet.

I begin scanning the land in search of food or water as the harsh and dry air whips at my face. My body is weak, and scaly. I can’t go on, I don’t want to go on. I am tired, so tired. I am exhausted, I’ve been abandoned yet again. What’s the point?

Cawwwww sounds a bird overhead, leaving a trail of poop on my head. “Purpose” it cackles, “there is no purpose!” and just when I begin to groan in complaint I look down and see that it also dropped seeds. Revitalizing laughter rumbles through my body…

Humor is my raft

– 

I bury the seeds with the last of the energy I have left. My laughter flows into tears that drop between the pockets of seed and dirt. I dream of lush trees, flickering sunlight and shade.

And just as so the earth rumbles, rising up and up and up! I’m atop the tallest of trees gazing at the magnificent mushroom tops rising together like an army–no, a family. I greet my giant brothers and sisters, hopping from their crowns to and fro! What magnificent wonders!

Then like clockwork the trees are set ablaze, burning down one by one….A terrible grief fills my heart. “No please..please don’t go”

A shout from the wind, “Jump!”

Trust is my raft

– 

I’m falling, falling…no–soaring through the frothiest of clouds. 

I corral the clouds rolling them into formation to create rain that showers down putting out the fire. I learned later the fire was needed so that forest could grow even greater than before

Cradled within the comfiest of clouds I gaze up at infinite stars above. Their shine twinkles against the darkness, almost like how light sparkles in water… I inhale deeply and when I exhale I rest into an even deeper sleep. My warm breath bubbles up and up, rising to greet the stars.

Breath is my raft.

Artist Statement:“Breath is my Raft” is a complex yet simple tale that symbolically weaves the hardships of humanity and suffering into a story of resilience. In this story suffering is symbolized as a storm. The storm is a metaphor for the chaos reeking havoc within our hearts and minds that takes different forms yet is always present in some aspect. These are the extremely uncomfortable, heavy and life threatening feelings we experience as humans. There is no avoiding them, yet in current society it has become normal to suppress, resist and ignore emotions in order to remain happy. Within this story the artist asks the viewer questions they once asked themself: Does life really have to be this way? What happens when we dive into these feelings? What lives below the surface and can we rise above?

And so, as I have within my own life, I cast my character to sea, venturing into the storm to search for answers to these unanswered questions to discover how one might sail through and survive, maybe even thrive! It’s a voyage that generations before and after us will embark on; returning with wisdom, stories and mantras; one that I now hold near - “The storm will pass”. I hope this story gives the viewer a sense of hope, knowing that they are not alone in their suffering. That what lies beneath and beyond heavy feelings of rage, grief, purposelessness and fear are gifts of bliss, humor, joy and rest.

Resistance to healing occurs each time the character becomes engulfed in the storm of its suffering. Instead of leaning into each feeling the character pulls away. As the story goes on the character realizes the more they work with the feelings instead of against, the tension loosens and the ride becomes more enjoyable. Storms become mere rain showers that the character understands as a part of their human experience. At the end the main character realizes that it was themself all along helping them through the storm: the warm wave pushing them up for air, the bird, the shout from the wind, all of it. They were always capable, always had the tools they needed but never knew. It was never about surviving the storm, but embracing each wave along the way. With every storm there is a gift; wisdom that we can take into our lives in order to live more harmoniously.

2024 installation partners: Grand Rapids Art Museum, Live Space, Downtown Grand Rapids Inc., Smith Haughey Rice & Roegge